Much Ado About Nothing

Sometimes life writes satire for you.

I woke up to an email.

"After I was giving a lot of thoughts I have decided you can live in this place as long as you want..."

Well.

How extraordinarily generous.

Apparently, after what I can only imagine was an exhausting period of philosophical reflection, meetings with the council of elders, several consultations with legal scholars, and perhaps a brief audience with God Himself...

...a decision had finally been reached.

I am hereby permitted to continue doing exactly what I have been doing for the last month.

Thank you.

I don't know how I ever survived before this monumental proclamation.

The funniest part isn't even the email.

It's the implication that reality changed because someone declared it had.

As though the universe paused.

The birds stopped singing.

Lucifer looked up from his coffee.

"Father... what's happening?"

God checked His notes.

"Hold on."

He looked toward Earth.

"Someone just granted permission for an already existing fact."

Lucifer blinked.

"Can humans do that?"

God shrugged.

"Apparently they believe they can."

Meanwhile, I continued sitting in exactly the same chair I'd been sitting in yesterday.

The house remained where it was.

The walls didn't move.

The roof stayed attached.

The village carried on completely unaware that history had just been rewritten by email.

The entire episode reminds me how much unnecessary drama people create around situations that don't actually change.

Nothing happened.

Nothing needed to happen.

Yet somehow it was transformed into a profound act of generosity.

It's almost impressive.

The universe remained completely indifferent.

Lucifer, however, couldn't stop laughing.

"Father..."

"Yes?"

"Do you think I could email gravity and give it permission to continue working?"

God smiled.

"You can certainly try."

The absurdity continues.